Why it's important to stop giving so much of yourself

First off, Merry (late) Christmas!

Second, this post is a bit overdue, and I apologize, but ironically enough, I haven't been posting anything because, well, I've been receiving. I've been allowing life to happen, rather than picking out key details to write about and living through blog ideas and social media posts. This may not make any sense, so let me further break it down in a quick storytime.

I have no idea what to post on social media. I have no blog post ideas. I've been pacing my room, staring at my Instagram feed and figuring out which photos would fit with my current theme, whatever that may be. Perhaps it's because I'm home for winter break, and my mind is dried-up due to the lack of fantastic events going on. Besides spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with loved ones, for the most part, I've been at home, catching up on sleep and allowing myself to do what I want at any given moment because I have no school, I have no work, and I need this time to myself.

But I also believe that I can't find something to write about because I've been giving too much of myself. All my wisdom, my accomplishments, my mere thoughts, and feelings, go onto social media for others to read. I caught myself red-handed, many times, finding content in everyday experiences, rather than simply sitting back and enjoying them as they were.

I was discussing this to my boyfriend a bit ago--the fact that I feel as though I have nothing to talk about on any platform. Maybe, I remember thinking, I just need to get out more, and that way, I'll have more to talk about.

Basically, my boyfriend responded with this: You aren't obligated to post on social media, Brittney. You could not post for several days and honestly, no one would care. Not in a bad way: People love you. But, everyone is so focused on their own life right now. No one cares if you're out living your life, getting stuff done. So, take this time to allow your life to happen, and then, perhaps, you'll find content in living. But don't live to find content. Find content through living.

And after speaking with my mom, she basically said the same thing but regarding my blog.

My Instagram and blog were things I wanted to start up by choice because I have a lot to say, because I like taking pretty photos and editing them, because I wanted to get a head-start and have several articles available when applying for future jobs. Originally, I did this for me, and I've realized that now, I do this for them--the readers, the followers, the people who look up to me online. Which is great, and I love it, and in fact, that's what you're supposed to do with an online business.

But in more ways than one, I've been giving, rather than receiving. Giving when I don't always need to. Giving when I have nothing to say.

For the entirety on winter break, I've been trying not to post. Trying not to clean that ever-growing pile of clothes on my floor. Trying not to add to my bullet journal, actually. In a way, I'm challenging myself to be okay with "mess", with change and imperfection. I've been challenging myself to relax, and let life happen.

No one is telling me to run this business, no one will be devastated if I don't post for a few days. I do this because I want to, not because I'm forced to, and sometimes, I forget that.

Being an author, I've always felt obligated to post as often as possible, always talking about my books, my writing, what I'm currently up to. But, people will love my books, buy my books, regardless of how often I talk about them. I've had to release this idea that I need to be constantly updating my life on this little social media platform. It's like getting first place in a sporting event--you talk about it once, and then you let it go and accomplish something else. I forget that you only need to talk about your books when you want to.

Most of us have been taught that it's important to always be giving. But sometimes, we need to take a break and stop giving. If we're constantly giving, giving, giving, we will never have time to truly live, and allow life to happen for us. If we are always in control, searching for content to post about, we will never experience life as it is. Life is simple, life is wonderful, and you could argue that life isn't meant to be edited and posted for a few people to see and in turn, compare their lives to.

I found a story idea. A few nights ago, I had a dream, and through that dream, a story formed, and it has been calling to me ever since, the characters real and vivid and alive in my head. I haven't received a story idea like this in quite some time. I allowed guidance to enter my life, and soon enough, I have gifted an idea. My mind was no longer scrambling to find ideas, so with a clear conscious, the idea found me.

It's okay to stop posting, stop writing, stop giving for a while. If we never allow ourselves to receive, our minds will burn out and grow dry of creative ideas. Our mind is like a garden--we need to constantly be watering and feeding our thoughts and ideas.

I feel like I'm rambling, and perhaps I am, but I thought that it'd be important to talk about this, since I'm sure I'm not the only person feeling this way. It's almost hypocritical because here I am, giving advice, but I'm giving advice because I stepped back, I allowed life to happen, and I found something to talk about in the midst of it all. I'm not forcing out a story, I'm not finding something that'll appeal to my readers. I'm writing, from my heart, from my mind, from my real-life experiences. And that's what writing should be.

I hope y'all enjoyed this post, and, besides the topic of the post, took some guidance out of my words!

On a side note, how has your winter break been? Let me know in the comments below!

Probably receiving,

Brittney